The Red Line

I was on the red line today going to Times Square, and out of the corner of my eye I see this guy get on my car, and I can just tell by the way he is waddling on with a cane that he is some sort of beggar, which, believe me, there is no fucking shortage of in New York. And sure enough he walks to the center of the car and starts his announcement,
"Scuse me ladies and gentlemen. I'm very sorry to interrupt you for this brief announcement, but I have had a full hip replacement and I have trouble walking. I wish I could be working right now. I had a stroke this January and my health does not allow me to work yet. It brings me great embarrassment to be here. Maybe some of y'all can help me out."
Nobody moves. No one ever does. I can't understand why so many people do this bc I never see them get any help. I certainly don't give to panhandlers, because that's how you generate more fucking smelly panhandlers. But this guy keeps going,
"I was a Vietnam vet."
And I'm beginning to wonder, "Is he just going to keep adding shit on until he gets something?"
"Just decades ago I was in charge of millions of dollars worth of equipment, and dozens of men. Now I'm reduced to begging for pennies on the subway."
But he didn't stop there.
"In 1988 I ran for city council in Queens. I was elected democratically, and was in charge of various important duties. Now my vision is poor in both eyes, and it is difficult for me to read the important documents I once read. But I cannot afford glasses. Nor food. So if any of you have some spare food you could share with me today."
I am generally willing to give spare food, rather than money, to panhandlers. Especially if I know it will go to waste. But I had no food.
"On September the 11th, 2001, I was near the World Trade Center, and I helped rescue many women from ground zero, and took them to safety. Now I have difficulty breathing."
And you could see as some people began reaching for pennies and spare change to put in his hat, as his story got more and more desperate. And I wondered what my breaking point would be. What would it take for me to give this man a dollar?
"In the 1990's, I fucked Mariah Carey on at least four separate occasions. Now I cannot fuck, because I am homeless and unshowered and no one will fuck me."
That's what it would take. Because I have also fucked Mariah Carey. And because we are not an enormous group of brothers who have fucked her, I will help this man, my brother, out with one dollar today.